Staying the Course

There was a fall tonight that concerned me. Visiting a friend, I walked up the sidewalk and missed a step. I went down hard. A month ago I fell down a flight of steps. A new medication I am taking causes problems with balance and coordination. I undestand the changes are permanent. Since December I have lost forty-five pounds. I am reluctant to stop taking it. My last medication caused me to gain around fifty pounds and eventually I developed diabetes. The medication caused intense sugar cravings. I slept up to fourteen hours a day. It was a nightmare. I was on the medication twelve years. The whole thing started some years ago when I was a victim of a random act of violence. The world became a very frightening place. My medication was supposed to ease these feelings. The medication worked but the price I paid was substantial. The medication cost a thousand dollars for thirty tablets. Some of the symptoms did not disappear. There was always the fear that there would be another attack. There was the fear that people were going to hurt me. This was a frightening kind of world to live in. The medication removed all desire for a normal lifestyle. Everything around me became unimportant. I am not sure why I share all this except as a warning tothose that there is a heavy price to pay for avoiding the world. Perhaps after being  the victim of violence there is a need to distance yourself from danger. I did. But what a price to pay.