Broken Shell

This is a broken shell painted in watercolor. It always makes me feel good when I tackle  this object. I guess that my wife and I picked it up at the shore years ago and perhaps because this was the only trip to the shore we've made together, it has a special meaning to me. The shell has been drawn in every possible way: watercolor, pen and ink, colored pencil,  pastel, and conte crayon. I don't think I have done it in acrylic yet. Anyway, this attempt has a few flaws and it is not one of my best. The color works but there is a problem with the rendering. It was done in pencil so changes could have been made. Sometimes I get in a hurry to see the finished product and overlook certain compositional shortcomings. Sometimes I get so anxious when I am presented with a problem that I rush right through it. It is a very old character defect and would probably explain why I never chose to improve my art skills and do more with them. I have not learned to deal with stress in a healthy way. I had some bad habits and learned that the least offensive one was eating a package of red licorice when I am upset. This one bothers me but so far it has proven to be the least irritating.
     Stress can be difficult. Art seems to be the way I deal with mine when I'm not munching on licorice. Just taking the time to create something that never existed before is rewarding. I'd like to say it always works but some days I settle for the candy. This can be problematic because I have some days when I just can just eat too much. Well, I will sign off, there are some demands on my time that need to be tended to. Hope that this missive finds its way into peaceful surroundings. God Bless. Dale

Experiencing the Divine.

Kat has found his way into the laundry basket for a warm place to go as the weather turns cooler. Today the high is 56 degrees.  He is nestled in this spot and is reluctant to relinquish it. I have a reluctance to move him as well, he seems to have found the place where our dog does not bother to check up on him.
     This week has been interesting. Someone invited me to join their blog and I have a new member to my site. These are firsts. I have been keeping this blog since 2009. It feels good to know that others  take the time to approve of something that means a lot to you. My interest in my Savior has taken on new meaning. It is such a personal thing, how does one share it? How do you tell someone that your relationship to Christ has given you new life and peace? How do you say, thank you Jesus for giving me new hope for the future? My early life was marked by trauma. My disability is an extension of that in some ways. To see myself moving towards a fuller, healthier life is both motivating and anxiety-producing.
    I finished a small five by seven inch watercolor titled "Broken Shell." I will post it tomorow. I have done this image  a hundred times. Pencil, pen and ink, colored pencil, pastel, watercolor. There is something that just amazes me about it. Boredom is not a feeling I experience when drawing it. I found it at the ocean six or seven years ago. To me there is something new about the experience everytime I translate it. It is not conscious. I found a quote by an unknown writer that says: " All true artists, whether they know it or not, create from a place of no-mind, from inner stillness." When I was very young I was aware of this phenomenom. 4-6 hours would disappear and I would be caught up in the experience. One artist once said that  the trick to being an artist is to be able to carry the experience into adulthood.
     Sometimes it is difficult to know what things separate you from God. What things prevent you from experiencing the best relationship with God? Rembrandt was a artist who drew hundreds of religious images. Perhaps to me a broken shell is a way of saying, this is an image that moves me to experience God's glorious creation. I can consciously remember the beauty of the shells that I found at the ocean that day and the exquisite sunset, so in a way when I paint a shell I am experiencing or re-experiencing that divine moment. Rembrandt  found beauty in the crucifixion, to me it is God's creation of a shell. Is my idea of beauty different from Rembrandt's? Should I do paintings of Christ's sacrifice to bring me closer to God? Perhaps I will start to create images like other artist's did as a way to testify to my love for my Maker. When I was younger I copied Rembrandt's etchings because something spoke to me.  In time, after many years, my images became different. Nature moved me. And it still does. It would be interesting to hear what Rembrandt would say about his idea of beauty... What would he say about his love for God? Something to think about.     GOD BLESS. Dale

Artist

This is a journal entry. I found the definition of artist on a website and I thought it was a good one. My wife had a problem with the definition but I thought that it described the best aspects of being a creator. Who is an artist? I don't know. Kiki Smith, an artist, said that all that you have to do is say, " I am one." I have always struggled with the idea of being an artist because I have worked my entire life at it and it seems to me that I have made little headway. When I was in grade school there was an artist in class who drew pictures for others. I asked him to do something for me and he said no. So I did it myself. So I was kind of an artist by default. In later years I would get recognized because I spent time drawing and I improved. But it wasn't until college that I found a teacher who really supported me. Twenty years later she is still doing it. In art school I could not take the idea of competition and left. I have mostly worked in isolation and art school left me feeling as if I were insignificant. I have been very fortunate in that I have always had people who supported me. Recently I have begun to put my work out for others to see and it has been a big risk. I have a lot of acknowledgement but I have also had a few lukewarm responses. Who is an artist? Is it as Kiki Smith says? That we choose as to whether or not we are gifted with creativity. Personally, I would like to think so. But when I was in school studying it just seemed to me that I did not have what it takes to be called creator.  Recently there has been material that has been published about art being a spiritual gift. One individual said that art and healing go together. The artist is seen as a healer. It has healed me in many ways, and there have been times where people have come to me and said that my work has brought them joy. It was only when a determination was made that I was disabled that art came to a place of prominence in my life. It has brought me so much joy. And perhaps that is all it is supposed to do. To create a change of perception in you. To help you to see a richer fuller reality.  Something to think about. GOD BLESS. Dale

Kat

Kat. Our male cat. He is a mixture of Ghengis Khan and Attila the Hun. He used to cause lots of trouble with our other two cats, he has calmed down in his old age. He is still rowdy at times but he has toned it down a bit. Last night he slept in the crook of my arm and when I woke up and dislodged him he had a fit and went after an inanimate object that he could destroy. He is my favorite cat. We have had our battles over the years and we have come to an understanding. If he gets mad at me he does it passive-aggressively. I think he was still mad at me later in the morning and adopted a tom-cat pose, but a hug calmed him down. We call him "big head." His head looks like it is a block and should be on the shoulders of a football player. I never had a cat before, except for a stray for a matter of weeks. Kat is my first attempt at understanding the feline personality. I can honestly say I love him. He comes when I call him. Except when he is lording it over the other cats. He usually comes then as well, but there are periods when he just decides that he has to get something out of his system. And then it is time to break up a disagreement. I chose this photo because Kath said that it looked like a good one. She knows better about these things. The illuminated strips added something to the composition. I hope that it does him justice. God bless. Dale

Interpreter.

Hi. I am sorry that it has been awhile since I wrote.. There is change in the air. My daughter bought a little secluded spot in the woods and it seems we spend more time talking and preparing her for her new life. I have spent a lot of time reading new quotes for ideas as well. And a lot of time in prayer and drawing. This little drawing is based on a painting by Rachel Kennedy. God is good. I was reading Psalm 1 this morning and I have always liked the image of a tree planted by water. I saw Rachel's painting and I wanted to interprete it with colored pencil. Emmylou Harris, one of my favorite artists, said that she was an interpreter. She sang a lot of other people's music. I have always liked to interprete other artist's work as well. It is a good way to learn, just so you long as you don't claim it as your own or try to sell it. My life is becoming more and more a miracle. I have been able to finally let go of some things that affected me in my adolescence when I experienced several major losses. I am sad to say that it was a rocky time for me and I did not handle it well. I left school when I was seventeen and left home... I was very ill and for a period I had nowhere to live.
     Today is a new day. Today is a day to carry God's vision into the day.  Thank you for experiencing this journey with me.

 God bless. Dale