Finding Inspiration

I have been working on an idea to illustrate a quote: "There they were overcome with dread, where there was nothing to dread." (Psalm 53:5) A large portion of my life I have found myself approaching challenges this way. Right now I am working on this quote and I am afraid that I no longer have the ability to carry it out. Whenever I finished a painting in the past I was afraid that I would no longer be able to create. That this was my last work. Inevitably what would happen was that I would find enthusiasm for something I saw and would want to draw it. And the process would begin again. For a long time I would go into the studio and just look at my materials and clean up my workplace. I grew up in a family of ten children. Both of my parents were high school dropouts. My father was an alcoholic. I did not have a lot of hope that I could be anything I wanted. Fortunately there was an aunt who influenced me. She drew for me. She gave me the ability to dream.
I have a friend that has a frame shop. She was having a tough time over the last few months with slow sales. She has had her frame shop for many years so she has gone through tough times before. She and I were talking about the slow season and she made the remark, "you have to believe in yourself." Others have had the ability to believe in me 'til I could believe in myself. My friend in the frame shop has done that for me. She taught me how to frame my work, how to cut mats and glass. She taught me the intangibles as well. Things like believing in myself. I have learned to get through slow times, times where I questioned myself constantly. I am much older now. I know that "this to shall pass. " All that I have to do is show up. Inspiration will happen. Count on it.