I am a coward. I do silly little drawings because I am scared to move out of my comfort zone. I avoid art that is beautiful because it reminds me that I will never be that good. It is kind of like the awareness that comes to you when you realize that you will never be great. I wasn't always this way. It has only been the last few years that I realized that I am incapable of creating fine art. I think that this is the primary reason that I left art school. I realized that I was never going to be as good as some of my classmates. It was a painful reality. One that I was unable to come to terms with. So I do silly little drawings. This frustrates me because I see professional artists work and I am filled with self-reproach at not being as good. Envy. One of my biggest character defects. Do other people feel this way? The awareness that comes to you one day when you realize that you will never be Andrew Wyeth or Picasso. I have heard this awareness occurs to you in your thirties. Mine happened later than that. Perhaps I was lucky. I avoided a painful reality a few years later than some. Or perhaps it took me a few more years to grow up.