Do Not Be Anxious About Tomorrow #2

Here is version #2. The letters have all fit on one line. I am not as happy with the watercolor rendering. Yesterday's was much freer, looser. The lettering is better but it still has a long way to go. I love the lettering of Edward Gorey. It is so fluid. I am not sure why I never seem to get it. Gorey had such a way with lettering. I can do it, but I don't necessarily like the results. Watercolor is wonderful. I don't paint wet on wet, I don't like it. I prefer to just move the paint around 'til I get what I want. I will never be a fine artist. I just don't like to draw. Instead I like the feel of my Rapidograph pen and the handling of my # 5 watercolor brush. I like to just try to create something that makes me smile and makes me feel good about what I've done. It is not great art, but I did it.  This image is only three inches by three inches. Very small. Easy to cut a mat for and to frame. Very cheap to frame.

Do Not Be Anxious About Tomorrow...

One of my little watercolor drawings. I will do it over again because I was told that the word tomorrow should all be on one line. It is a bad habit. I don't make sure that I can fit the whole word on the same line. Laziness, I suppose. This lettering is not done very well.This type of lettering has always been one  of my favorites although not necessarily my best. I ran out of Arches watercolor paper a while back so I have been recycling scraps. The sun image is a favorite motif. I am not sure when I started using it but the sun is such a positive image.

Dealing with the Frustration of Trauma.

A drawing of the blossoms on our lilac bush. It is not easy to see and I include it only because I am still in the process of learning what my little Olympus camera can do. It is a joy to work with. It was very cheap and perfect since I have no experience with digital cameras. I just wanted something I could afford and that would give me a general idea of what these little devices can do. So far there have been some frustrations. I have to write every step down otherwise I will rapidly lose the information. It is very difficult for me to follow through with anything. I don't know if this due to the head injury I suffered but it makes it hard to accomplish goals. I have given up on the idea of ever making something work over a long period.  

Fighting Depression

It has been difficult lately with a new medication prescribed by my doctor for my disability. There is some concern that it affects balance and coordination and that the changes are permanent. It is a frightening thought. I had a fall tonight and it scared me. I am not usually so uncoordinated and accident-prone. A little over a month ago I had another fall. I fell down a flight of steps. Is this going to be something that occurs more often? The medication I take is supposed to help me to see things in a more reasonable light. Sometimes I see the world as this threatening place. Some years ago I was the victim of a random act of violence and it totally changed the way I look at things. This didn't occur overnight but over a period of years. This is the primary cause of my disability. A medication I took caused so much weight gain and sugar craving that I gained almost fifty lbs. The result was diabetes. So now not only do I struggle with fearful thoughts, there is the matter of mood-swings caused by blood sugar problems. Since December I lost a total of forty-five lbs. I cut out all the sugar but still battle caffeine cravings. Switching to water has freed up some energy. Still, there is always the fatigue associated with diabetes and blood-sugar issues.

My Studio

My studio. An early version. It is still a work in progress. I have several small drawings I have been meaning to finish  and this is the area where I get most of this work accomplished. Most of my art is small in nature. Small watercolors incorporating pen and ink drawings. Generally they are 3x5, 4x6, 5x7 or 8x10 inches. I used to do large mixed media paintings like the one in the photo. They were pen and ink, acrylic, pastel and colored pencil. They were much too expensive to produce so I scaled my work down to manageable proportions. Right now I just do small illustrations with inspirational quotes in them. I have been doing these for years. I once sold them to pay for my supplies, but now I give them to friends or produce them to hang around the studio. I have been on disability for quite some time now and it simplifies matters. Once I kicked around the idea of making a living at it but my disability kind of squashed this idea. The nature of my disability is such that I have a hard time making plans and following through with them.I suffer from major depression and PTSD after being the victim of a random act of violence. I consider myself fortunate to be able to accomplish this small endeavor. I was very fortunate to have once gone to art school, I worked in a frame shop and  I sold art supplies. I have been able to find my way around this illness to a degree. God willing, I won't always be on disability...  Dale

Pfaltzgraff

I found this little piece of pottery in a thrift store a while back and it spoke to me. It is a style of pottery pretty popular in our area. Pottery is something that I really enjoy and I like to haunt thrift shops looking for it. We had a Pfaltzgraff plant in town for a long time and I had the opportunity to work for  their bone china endeavor for a little while. I got to see the industrial side of  things for a period and I learned a lot. Pfaltzgraff is gone now and the only thing left is a mural downtown showing their pottery being made; It was a significant part of our town's economy for a long time. I've been kicking around the idea of going to an area where handcrafts are a big part of the culture. Working with my hands has always pleased me and it would be nice to be part of that tradition again. My small drawings give me a lot of pleasure. I had the opportunity to go to art school for a little while and it was a fun learning experience. I wonder when you reach the age when these dreams stop being important. I can't imagine ever giving up art...

A  piece of stained glass that I bought many years ago. Actually, it is melted glass. The sunset through the window made a wonderful image. It was a frustrating day trying to figure out how to transfer images from my camera. The first couple of images went smoothly, and then-nothing.

Inspiration III

Just attempting to see if I can figure out how to blow up this image. There is a way to do it but I can usually only do it by chance. There seems to be a trick to it that I just don't get. That is the trouble with working in isolation, there is a long learning-curve. I figured it out, you have to right-click on the image
     This is one of my favorite photos. It is not especially good, but it represents my favorite "stuff. " My Rapidograph pen and my Winsor & Newton paint set. I have had both of them for years. My paintings are very small so it does not take a lot of watercolor to finish a pen & ink drawing. Many years ago when it was my dream to be an artist there was an article in one of the art magazines about making sure that if you want to be professional, that you buy professional equipment. I followed the writer's directions. Paint really makes a big difference. When you buy student grade paint, you get student grade results. Anyone who has ever gone to grade school knows how to create mud with their paints. Making mud with professional grade paints is not impossible, but you learn an awful lot about color theory when you try. A lot of times you end up with some wonderful mixtures that are just what you are looking for...

Inspiration II

I am trying to figure out my camera, there are a couple of images I want to share but I cannot figure out how to post them.

              

Inspiration

Flowers are one of my favorite things to look at. I try to draw them but I am just not that good. This one is a little easier because it is in profile. I try to draw them from the top and it is a lesson in futility. My camera is able to do what I cannot and then I can translate what I see. Perhaps I will give this one a try, it is just such a pleasing photo.

Gratitude

Gratitude is such a tough topic for me. It seems that there is always something to complain about. My sister recently lost her home when a tree fell on it. She had not been in it long and it was destroyed. Rather than look at the fact that the place was empty at the time,you ask yourself  how often does a tree destroy a home? What are the odds? There have been more events like this in our part of the state in recent years. It seems tornadoes are more common. My sister was lucky, not everyone can say they avoided something like this. Anyway, I am grateful for my sister coming out unscathed. She had left the house to ride out the storm in a safer place. A good thing she did. She dodged a bullet. My dog has become more sensitive to storms as he has gotten older. He whines when a thunderstorm occurs. He was okay as a puppy, but now he is very sensitive. Perhaps there is the sense that they are more dangerous now than they once were. Or that now he realizes what they are. There is an increasing need to be grateful for the way that we all dodge bullets at times. In a way I have that over my dog, he doesn't know when he has been lucky and avoided a nasty situation.  Or perhaps in a way he does and I just don't realize it...

Gratitude is something that I have to work at. There is a lot to be grateful for if one takes the time to think about it. There is being able to help others. For a long time I didn't have that opportunity. My disability is one that makes gratitude tough. I often deal with bouts of self-pity. There is a saying that goes, I go about in self-pity while all the while I am pulled across the sky in a chariot of wind. It is paraphrased. I think that we all are miracles. It is amazing we are here. Picasso said that it is amazing that we don't all dissolve in our bathwater.

Dreams Die Hard

 The bookshelf in my studio. I have always wanted to be an artist. Ever since I was very little. I went to art school for a little while. It is so funny to think that even if we can't live our dream, there are ways we can adjust that give us solace. Even if it is just acknowledging that we have a dream...

Nothing Interferes With Creativity...

One of the little quotes I like to do. I have a tremendous problem with resentment at times and I have to remind myself that it affects my attitude in many subtle ways. This is one I was not aware of... Sometimes there is this tendency on my part to get down on myself. Reminding myself that things could be worse helps. And that sometimes it does a bit of good to stay grateful if at all possible. .
     My images always come out lopsided. How does one correct this?

Leaving Our Footprint

Sometime ago I had the opportunity to see a photoessay published in "Spirituality & Health" magazine. The article was about  seabird chicks that had been thousands of miles from civilization, yet were the victims of pollution. The story detailed the damage that was occurring when the chick's parents did not recognize plastics as being inedible. The chick's parents saw the plastic floating on the water and picked it up to feed to their young. Photos detailed the decomposed birds insides littered with plastic. I don't live near the ocean but the story really affected me. I could not believe how heartbreaking it must have been for the parents of those birds, and the pain the chicks must have went through. I am not pollution-conscious yet it did something to me. I immediately started recycling, something I had done sporadically, but with little motivation. Recently, there is more of a response on my part when I see sealife being threatened. That one article affected me more than anything that I'd experienced before. When I was younger I spent a few vacations at the Shore and it was always a pleasant experience. I'd been to Mexico several times to vacation near the ocean and these were  life-changing events... For many years aquariums were a source of great pleasure in my home. The life in the water has always influenced me. I'm not sure why. Lately I have been paying more attention to events and legislation that affect wildlife. Right now there is some legislation in the U.S House of Representatives that will affect endangered species. It is HR 2578. Take the time to learn about it and make your voice heard. We have only one world and even if you can't make it to the seashore like me, there are many ways to be involved. Even if it is only something as simple as recycling. Thanks. Dale