It has come to my attention recently how often I fall short on matters that are important to me. Faith is something that at times is sorely lacking in my life. Recently a situation has arisen that fills me with fear. Actually a couple of them. And I realize that I am not good at accepting these situations as being what they are. I know these situations are part of two problems that have been with me for a long time. I live in an urban environment and have most of my life. When I left some years ago to start over I returned and was the victim of a random act of violence. Now there is the potential to leave this area again and possibly start over in an area that is safer. Sometimes I regret my decision to return to the city. It changed my entire life. One person's crime altered my future permanently and now I realize that I just want to be free of this area. What does this have to do with my Christian beliefs? Romans 8:28 says that all things work together to the good to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. So even though I would not have asked to be attacked, it all worked out. God gave me freedom that I never thought I would have had. Also I met a woman to share my life with who makes me happier than I ever thought possible. All because someone attacked me. And now there is the possibility again to move from this area and start fresh. And it scares me. There is the potential for God to take me to places that I could only dream about.But my partner is happy here. We have lived in the same place for all the years of our marriage. This makes it difficult to move on.To trust God that some serious mishap won't occur again and lead to potentially deadly consequences.
The other area I struggle with is trusting God that he can remove a flaw that I have battled all of my life. Or most of my life. Now I am directing my energies toward it and sometimes I see little progress. My faith is such that it seems difficult to believe that this area will really be an area of healing. There is a saying that is not scriptural and therefore has questionable authority, but it says that if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. And I have a hard time trusting Him to heal me in an area of my life that I have struggled with for many years. Yet for many years I suffered from serious mental problems because of the assault. Today I am experiencing freedom in this area since I recommitted my life to Christ. I feel safe again. I feel free. Yet, there is still doubt that this new freedom will continue.And that my other flaws with stand up to Christ's healing as well. God bless... Dale
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