Dreams Die Hard

 The bookshelf in my studio. I have always wanted to be an artist. Ever since I was very little. I went to art school for a little while. It is so funny to think that even if we can't live our dream, there are ways we can adjust that give us solace. Even if it is just acknowledging that we have a dream...

Nothing Interferes With Creativity...

One of the little quotes I like to do. I have a tremendous problem with resentment at times and I have to remind myself that it affects my attitude in many subtle ways. This is one I was not aware of... Sometimes there is this tendency on my part to get down on myself. Reminding myself that things could be worse helps. And that sometimes it does a bit of good to stay grateful if at all possible. .
     My images always come out lopsided. How does one correct this?

Leaving Our Footprint

Sometime ago I had the opportunity to see a photoessay published in "Spirituality & Health" magazine. The article was about  seabird chicks that had been thousands of miles from civilization, yet were the victims of pollution. The story detailed the damage that was occurring when the chick's parents did not recognize plastics as being inedible. The chick's parents saw the plastic floating on the water and picked it up to feed to their young. Photos detailed the decomposed birds insides littered with plastic. I don't live near the ocean but the story really affected me. I could not believe how heartbreaking it must have been for the parents of those birds, and the pain the chicks must have went through. I am not pollution-conscious yet it did something to me. I immediately started recycling, something I had done sporadically, but with little motivation. Recently, there is more of a response on my part when I see sealife being threatened. That one article affected me more than anything that I'd experienced before. When I was younger I spent a few vacations at the Shore and it was always a pleasant experience. I'd been to Mexico several times to vacation near the ocean and these were  life-changing events... For many years aquariums were a source of great pleasure in my home. The life in the water has always influenced me. I'm not sure why. Lately I have been paying more attention to events and legislation that affect wildlife. Right now there is some legislation in the U.S House of Representatives that will affect endangered species. It is HR 2578. Take the time to learn about it and make your voice heard. We have only one world and even if you can't make it to the seashore like me, there are many ways to be involved. Even if it is only something as simple as recycling. Thanks. Dale

Staying the Course

There was a fall tonight that concerned me. Visiting a friend, I walked up the sidewalk and missed a step. I went down hard. A month ago I fell down a flight of steps. A new medication I am taking causes problems with balance and coordination. I undestand the changes are permanent. Since December I have lost forty-five pounds. I am reluctant to stop taking it. My last medication caused me to gain around fifty pounds and eventually I developed diabetes. The medication caused intense sugar cravings. I slept up to fourteen hours a day. It was a nightmare. I was on the medication twelve years. The whole thing started some years ago when I was a victim of a random act of violence. The world became a very frightening place. My medication was supposed to ease these feelings. The medication worked but the price I paid was substantial. The medication cost a thousand dollars for thirty tablets. Some of the symptoms did not disappear. There was always the fear that there would be another attack. There was the fear that people were going to hurt me. This was a frightening kind of world to live in. The medication removed all desire for a normal lifestyle. Everything around me became unimportant. I am not sure why I share all this except as a warning tothose that there is a heavy price to pay for avoiding the world. Perhaps after being  the victim of violence there is a need to distance yourself from danger. I did. But what a price to pay.

New Work

In December my doctor put me on a new medication. My old medication caused me to gain over fifty pounds and eventually I developed diabetes. I was always tired and slept over twelve hours a day. I don't know if my creativity was affected, but found myself often too tired to do any work. So indirectly my creativity was affected. Since I started my new medication I stopped drinking sugared caffeinated soda. I cut 90% of the refined sugar out of my diet and started drinking nothing but water and vegetable juice. So far I have lost over twenty pounds. It hasn't been easy. Somedays I really crave soda. Especially those days when I am irritable and it seems the world just won't cooperate with my expectations. Since December I haven't created one painting. This bugs me but I have found myself doing an art journal every day and it has been consistent. There hasn't been a day that has been missed. In the past there would be small drawings in the margin of my journal and sometimes these would be embellished with colored pencil. Recently every days work is completed with small colored pencil drawings. A journal that began on January 11th was completed yesterday and drawings in the margins were all colored. Doesn't sound like much, but in the past I have never been able to consistently do it.
In January the shop where I sold my work quit selling my art when they went out of business. This a primary reason that I have not been doing my small watercolor drawings. I read somewhere that if a person begins to sell their work there is a reluctance to create unless it is for sale. Sounds kind of untrue, but in my case this seems to be the case. I find myself just doing small things for the sake of creating, but nothing that would find its way into a shop.

The Artists Muse

Sometimes it seems that ideas are just not coming fast enough, other times it seems you can't shut them off. Maya Angelou said that, "You can't use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have." I don't paint very often and I am often at a loss to explain why. There is the desire, but desire is not enough. I do have creative outlets. I journal every day and incorporate little color pencil drawings into the borders. So perhaps this should suffice. But there is always the desire to do more. There is always this thought that if one is not painting, one isn't really creating. I'm not sure why this is. Perhaps it just seems that painters get all the recognition, and draftsmen come in a distant second. I couldn't be an oil painter. Too many allergies. Solvents make me sick. But there has always been this desire to play like the big boys. To be able to create a beautiful piece of art that will stand the test of time. To have one's work in a major museum must be an awesome feeling. Robert Ryman paints white canvases. Blank white canvases. Seriously. So there is the sense that it is not all that it seems to be. Fame must have more to do with something other than absolute talent. I'm not saying that Robert Ryman isn't talented, it just seems that perhaps I am missing something. Robert Ryman's works end up in major museums and it is a puzzle to me as to what makes them a critical success.
All my life I thought draftsmanship was everything. If you couldn't draw, you weren't an artist. But there are a number of artists, good artists, who can't draw. Frank Stella is one. In my mind he is a good artist. Seeing his work for the first time at the Baltimore Museum of Art was inspiring. He works in a large scale, most work is metal, he uses enamel paints I believe, and his shapes are abstract. He is a sculptor. And a good one. His pieces are moving works of art. So how does one create such works and still not be able to draw? Most artists make technical drawings to work out any potential problems that might arise. How does Stella work? Where does he get his ideas? Do they just materialize out of thin air? How does he commit them to memory if he doesn't draw? I think it is clear that being a successful artist is more than just having a preconceived notion as to what art is.

A Brush With Darkness

hello. I haven't written for awhile. There is still creating going on , though perhaps a little slowly. The shop where I sell my work closed last week. Which means looking for new venues. I am a little nervous about approaching new owners. It has been a while since there was the need to sell myself. I have about half a dozen new works. Depression has been a problem. Just not much interest in creating. Spend a lot of time journaling and creating art journals. It is creating but not nearly as draining. Forty three days 'til Spring. It will be nice to see tree buds again.