Drawing

Colored pencil rendering. I have been spending a lot of time just doing other things and really haven't had an opportunity to play around with colored pencil and Rapidograph pen. I don't think that there is a lot of effort in this but it is always fun. Just a way  to use my favorite scriptural verse, my pencils and a #0 Rapidograph. The pencils are prismacolors and this is done on very thin paper. There is always a need to burn off tension and this is one of my favorites. I just doodle and think about how to show excitement and exultation. If I had this much excitement this is how I'd show it. You don't have to be artistically inclined to just express feelings of happiness. When I went through a really long depression Psalm 118: 24 showed up in dozens of  my drawings. This was my way of saying that even if I felt bad I did not have to just lay down and let it overwhelm me. The depression lasted over ten years but I never gave up hope that it eventually end. Sometimes drawing is just a way to let out part of what needs to come out in order to feel loose and more optimistic. I always feel happier after drawing these little scribbles. This is done on a hardbound 8.5 by 11 sketchbook. I think the paper is about 65 lbs. I never knew that paper had weights. And it is what 500 sheets would weigh. Also known as a ream. Watercolor paper, good watercolor paper weighs 140 lbs. So 500 sheets would weigh 140 lbs.William Glasser, the man who wrote the book on Reality Therapy said that if you want to retain 95% of the information you learn, teach. I have always wanted to learn about design, the skill necessary to put together a good painting. If I wanted to learn about the components of design that go into a good drawing, I could teach it. Design is made up of different things. There is line. And value. Repetition. Unity. Texture. Balance. Form. Scale, sometimes referred to as size. Depending on the book there are other aspects as well. There's overlap And aerial perspective. Center of interest. There is movement. Color. Linear perspective. 

     

Creativity

Recently there has been a lot of time spent creating work and some sales at a local shop. Once a month I go to the shop and for three hours demonstrate my watercolors, pen and ink and greeting cards using pen and ink and colored pencils. Every month I have more sales, but by the time I'm done I crash. All I want to do is sleep. I never knew being creative could be so tiring. I am thinking about discontinuing the project. I have been disabled for a number of years and I do this mostly for self-esteem and an outlet for my talents. Family and friends are a big part of what I do so it be just as easy to just do it for the fun and not worry about being "on" once a month. What does an artist do to decompress? What do they do to recover  their creative abilities? Many years ago I did the Artist's Way book and this is how all this started. I found out by journaling I could find answers to conflicts I had and resolve them. The more I did this the more creative I became. Today I can paint every day but I get so tired. I am older now so perhaps it is just part of not having the energy I once had. My blog has suffered and I rarely find time for it. I have outside interests as well but these have suffered. Rarely is there interest on my blog so perhaps it is time to end it. I just don't seem to find the time anymore. Recently I began to experience more spiritual life but this too began to create time problems and I wasn't sure how to resolve them so I cut back on the spiritual activities. This blog has become more like a web-journal and I do not get enough time to really get to it. I have been thinking about joining a group of other artists to see how they resolve their creative impasses. Recently a group of studios have opened up in town and perhaps I can become part of this group. One thing is clear, this thing has changed for me and I have to decide where I am going to go with it. Do I continue and see where it leads and learn how to manage my resources or do I go back to a more spiritual path and find more time for a Higher Power? My family relationships have deteriorated and some perhaps irretrievably.
     One of the benefits of creativity is that it introduces you to something that makes you feel good about yourself. There is investigating the various aspects of design and art history. There is exploring new art techniques and the possibility of meeting people with similar interests. I have met many artists over the years but never really considered myself a creative type. All that has changed this year as long-ago conflicts have resolved themselves. More and more I find myself heading in this direction and I have thought that perhaps if things can continue to resolve there may be a return to employment. I have moderate asthma so I do have other issues  other than my disability. I have other health-concerns but with new creativity some of this may also resolve. Creativity is a wonderful gift. It is so nice to be intuitive and have ideas erupt out of nowhere. Some of this has left me. There is the danger of too much sugar and caffeine, these things stifle my creativity. They drain me. If others have ideas about how to resolve these issues and want to share your insights it would be nice to hear from you. Thank you. God bless. Dale

Easing the Load

This is Little Bit, our twelve year old cat. I haven't posted in a while because of being busy pinning on Pinterest. I have started selling my artwork and this requires more time as well. I was involved in a group for a little while but this didn't take. It seems that I am just not cut out to do a lot of soul-searching on certain issues and I found myself resenting the viewpoints of the people that were trying to convince me they were trustworthy.   I have an open mind to a limited degree but I have to believe that people have my best interests at heart. It all sounds kind of kind of cryptic I guess, suffice it to say that I am not ready to accept new information into my life when I am not sure of the individuals carrying the message. Call me cynical.

     I am a frustrated writer and I write-a lot. I found a book today," Inspiration for Writers." It is a "Chicken Soup for the Soul" book. I love to write, as I said,  and I thought I'd give the book  a try. It is  wonderful. . I made it through high school and two years of college without learning much about writing. Yet my idea of heaven is being able to do something with my writing bug. I have a friend who has been pushing me to publish my greeting cards but there is just no motivation on my part. The book, 'Inspiration for Writer's is perfect if you have ever had the desire to see your work published. I must admit I am chicken. But I like to dream that someday I will find the courage. If you get the chance, check it out. I found it at my local library. 

     I just sat down and wrote tonight because I felt the urge to say that hard work pays off. My art has never been very good in my estimation but there are people in my life that truly believe in my ability. And it was a gift handed down to me from someone who was very special. That makes it important. If someone took the time to give us a special gift, at least we can do is use it. In other words, utilize the gifts God gave you. Even if you don't think much of them. Mary Engelbreit is a wonderful illustrator. Her parent's cleaned out a closet for her to use as a studio when she was a child. . She became a great artist in my estimation because someone close to her believed in her. Too many times in my life I stopped trying because I had no one to believe in me. But eventually someone came along and reignited the spark.  Today, many years later, I still paint. Many, many, years later. And I see the rewards. When I was very young someone showed me something that made me very happy. Art.  Somewhere out there is someone who needs to dream. And you could be the one who gives it to them. Never underestimate your ability to pass on your gifts to those who just might be ready to claim a lifetime of pleasure. We all want to leave a legacy and we all have gifts, even if we don't think they amount to much. A child sees a line and to him or her it is magical. The individual who taught me to paint was just doing something to distract me from a painful period of my life. And that gift is now almost 60 years old. And I still remember the magic. As I recall, the drawings were nothing special. But they were alive with meaning. Don't ever underestimate your ability to change a life. My aunt is gone many years but she will never die. My daughter is an artist and my grandson gets special paintings that "grandpa" did.  Claim your gifts. They may change a life sixty years later. 

     It occurred to me as I read over this that I mentioned being cynical in the beginning. We all are. Especially if we have been around a little while. Right now I am very disappointed that I did not "get" the viewpoint of the individuals trying to change my old ideas about certain things. So perhaps I am wrong trying to convince others to change a child's life for the better. But what is there to lose?  I am an artist and occasionally frustrated writer today because someone took the time with me. And I have the courage to walk away from things that could potentially harm me, (questionable people's viewpoints) because someone once told me, I trust you and I respect your judgement. Use your gifts. Please. Dale 

   

Gratitude

I have been reading a book on gratitude and the author suggests some steps to take to improve an individual's thankfulness. One suggestion is to be specific as possible. Rather than say my father did a great job of  raising me, try saying he  offered me advice only when I asked, he worked at giving me praise, and for making sure that I knew that he was proud of the ways I took care of responsibilities promptly. Another suggestion, offer a number of sentences of detail. Rather than say, I am grateful for God. Say that I woke up this morning and the sun was shining and the air was mild and I had a phenomenol night's sleep and I had the sense that God had created this  wonderful day just for me. The more concrete and detailed we make our praise the more likely we are to remember it. One individual had offered his testimony in the book and he admitted he had made some terrible mistakes and that he had no idea what the future held for him. Neverthless, he said that he had a motto in life, expect nothing, appreciate everything.
     I went through a period of my life that was filled with deep depression and a perpetual sense of darkness. As a result, I would often do long gratitude lists.  I had heard that certain Jewish groups have to do a list of 100 things they are grateful for. The first time I attempted this I struggled over the list a long time. Later attempts were much easier. Gratitude lists become easier with practice. One thing I noticed was how little relief they offered me. The idea of being specific and in depth offers me a bit of hope that my exercises in gratitude can improve. When I discussed my Dad's parenting style, this made me smile. My Dad passed some years ago and it is good to think about his efforts to be a good father. When I was sixteen he attempted to build my siblings and I a go-kart. He had problems with the clutch and the attempt showed how much he cared for his children. When the go-kart experiment did not work out he went out and bought my brother's and I a small motorcycle. Although he struggled with a large family he often paid attention to improving our lives whenever he could.
     Gratitude journals have always been hard for me. It was only on the worst days that I could bring myself to do one. As someone who was often the recipient of advice on how to improve my attitude while dealing with illness, gratitude was not easy. I felt singled out for harsh treatment by my creator. I thought it was unfair that I struggled with illness and injury all my life. I needed to be reminded that my siblings were not as fortunate as I . My illnesses carried the mixed blessings of being offered more than my fair share of attention. I became an artist, as many do, because of my many significant periods alone. Robert Louis Stevenson was often sickly and it was his  long periods of convalescence that gave him the opportunity to write his stories and poetry. So it has become clear to me as Twila Paris the Christian singer once said, "gratitude can be as simple as perspective." I became an artist because of illness. Robert Louis Stevenson wrote "Treasure Island" because he fought a long term illness as well.
      I have finally  made it through my long period of depression. Looking back, many gratitude lists certainly helped.  Socializing helped. Religion helped. Art helped. I am much more grateful today. I wake up in the morning without any dread of facing a new day.Previously, there were days when I saw no hope. I posted a sign where I could see it that read, you shall be secure, because there is hope. (Job 11:18). I constantly relied on the fact that the only thing I had was hope. There is an old saying that says we are to not give up five seconds before the miracle happens. Gratitude is a definite bonus in times of uncertainty. The lesson seems to have been for me to use every trick that you can manage to stay positive. Even  when it seems that positives are hard to come by. And to remember something that one of Abraham Lincoln's advisors told him during one of his darkest hours: " This too shall pass." Stay positive. Dale

The Spiritual Gift of the Steps. .

Spriritual gift-Art. Some years ago I got involved in a twelve-step program. I stayed with it 'til I felt that the issue had resolved. About five years. I learned the techniques and moved on. Julia Cameron was a twelve-stepper. She wrote "The Artist's Way." She said that if you followed the artist's way of working, you could get a handle on issues that were bothering you. One was was a technique called the "Morning Pages." I found that the pages worked and that I eventually found myself painting, drawing and doing small inspirational quotations with pen and ink and watercolor.. Anne Lamott is another twelve-stepper.  She discovered that her spirituality was found partially in the church. She discovered that her ability to write gave her the ability to pass along the message of recovery.
     The steps were discovered by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith. They work, and  the idea is simple, find a power that you can call God. Bill Wilson was able to stay sober because he found that if he helped someone else he could stay sober. He discovered God and that His power in the form of helping others could be the source of his sobriety. He helped Dr Bob Smith and launched AA. Spirituality comes in many forms. Some find it in church, some find it in nature. I found it in art. I create art and pass it on to others to show that if you can improve that  person's situation you can motivate them to make the changes necessary to find a power greater than their problems-God. Julia Cameron, when she wrote "The Artist's Way, " discovered that the spiritual power of art was a wonderful source of self-esteem. A source of power to change one's perception of his or herself . Art is a way of healing wounded emotions.
     For centuries men were able to use the healing power of art to say things about the nature of God. The beauty of His strength and power. People discovered that this power was not only available to artists, anyone could utilize it. And that they could use it to get in touch with a power that would heal them of their problems-whatever they were. The reason I bring up the steps is that it is a source of finding many forms of spirituality. For me, it was creativity. I discovered prayer and meditation and self-appraisal were also  part of the package.  Anyone can give up the negative power that is killing them and get better. All that is required is honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. I guess the reason that I am plugging AA and the steps is that they returned me to sanity. And as someone who has recovered it is important I pass on what I learned. I found that with pen, paper, ink, and watercolor that I had a gift.    Anne Lamott has became a wonderful writer who passes on the joy of recovery. Julia Cameron teaches that if we follow some simple guidelines we are capable of developing wonderful abilities. And becoming genuine artists. And finding that we have something to offer the world-if we only choose to try. 

Is art a commodity or spiritual gift?

Over the last few weeks I was creating almost every day. I was at my friend's Mark's house helping him to build a backyard pond. I noticed something familiar: I said to Mark, "you're having fun aren't you." The way he was lifting and carrying rocks looked somehow familiar. It reminded me what I do when I am creating a large painting and I am examining it from different angles and moving my head to side to side. It's fun. Mark wasn't moving large, heavy rocks, he was playing. When I was a little kid I did the same thing. I'd build kingdoms and fight battles with just toy soldiers and cardboard boxes.
     I have been going to church for the last six weeks. I have been to two churches and the pastor of another church came to our home to offer my wife communion. Each of these three churches had less than sixty members in the pews. It was startling.
     Painting the last few days has been on hold. From staying home every day I now find myself out and about every day. This blog had no hits the last time I posted. I have had no time to post. Someone once wrote that if you want to be an artist you have to spend lots of time alone. I just don't do that anymore. Artists spend time with other artists, but mostly it is a lonely pursuit. It is a very solitary experience. My friend Mark is another artist. He creates furniture. He used to make driftwood worlds for little figurines. When I watched Mark today creating, I realized art for me is fun. One day I took my work into the local shop where I sell it and one of the other employees said of my work: " That is the happiest piece of art in the shop." Art is a spiritual gift. The sermon I heard today was about artists and their unique perspective on the world. At the risk of sounding conceited it is like being tied into the creativity of God. This pastor said that artist's have a unique spiritual gift. Julia Cameron wrote a book about it called, "The Artist's Way." For me, this book did something to me that I had been able to do, but Julia Cameron showed me how to do it everyday. Not just haphazardly, but consistently. Julia Cameron had somehow found out how artist's create. And she wrote an entire book about it. It is old news now. The Artist's Way has sold millions of copies. Go to a site like Pinterest and you can see how many millions of artists are in this country.
     I haven't been posting my pictures anymore, I have been selling them. Not much Sometimes it seems art is not about money at all. You don't sell your favorite cake recipe, you share it with  friends. I give almost all my work away. I don't even want to sell it. It is just good to share an inspirational painting with a friend who is struggling with depression. But the tendency is to see art as a commodity. A way to gain fame and fortune. So often I say to myself now, I can't post this, someone will steal my idea. I gave my wife's pastor a work and she cried. There is a verse in the Bible that is Ephesians 6:8. It says that whatever good a man does for someone, the Lord will repay him in kind. I gave the pastor a painting and the next day I created the best work I have ever done. Now it is up to me to share this work with others, so that I can create more works. But it is scary. What about the money? What about the success that I have always craved? I don't know how to find out if others feel this way as well. I guess it is just a question that will have to go unanswered.

God bless. Dale