Christmas Week

Christmas is almost here. Not many new ideas but I am really not worried. I just feel the spirit of the holiday and I don't think too much about creativity. Something will emerge. I am happy with the last few pieces that I have created and that is enough. I so much enjoy Christmas. It is fun to get outdoors and look at the houses alight with decorations. We got eight inches of snow today and my dogs are excited about being out in it. There are some weather forecasters predicting a white Christmas. We will see. Happy Holidays.

II Timothy 1:7

A new piece that I finished. Just have to mat and frame it.

Creative Blocks

I haven't created anything in a couple of weeks. Depression was pretty bad a couple of weeks ago but it didn't keep me from drawing. The last two weeks have been much better from a depression point of view, but creatively I've been stuck. I admire people who create every day, rain or shine. I just received some frames so I can work but I have no ideas. There is an old trick I learned a long time ago, and that is cleaning my studio. This sometimes gets my juices flowing. It doesn't work all the time but it can often do the trick. Sometimes going to old journals helps. I have drawings scattered throughout my journals and these can be inspiring. We'll see what happens. I miss having other artists around to commiserate with, or to kick ideas around with. I have been wanting to e-mail some artists I have found online, but so far I haven't tried.

A Joy to Create

The work that I just created: I wonder if anything is impossible to a God....is one of my favorite quotes. I wish that I knew who the creator was. I look for quotes like this to express what it is that I believe. Sometimes my dark moods keep me from seeing the glory of God's creations, but this is rare. Sunsets can be seen in all their glory from my kitchen window and I love to look as well to try to draw them.

I wonder...

I wonder if anything is impossible....

Morning Pages. A Way to be Creative.

I create as a way to deal with blue moods. I write, I draw, I paint. Sometimes when it seems that my mood cannot get any blacker I try to remind myself to do a gratitude list. It helps a little. Taking a walk can clear my head and make me appreciate nature's beauty. Depression can really limit creativity. It is hard to be creative when one is engaged in feeling self-reproach and despair. The last thing I created was a little over a week ago. I journal everyday as a way to deal with various feelings. This helps. I am a fan of Julia Cameron's and many years ago I found out about her book "The Artists Way". The book introduced me to a technique called "morning pages" Morning pages are a daily ritual in which you do three pages of stream-of-consciousness writing. The goal is to use the writing to unblock creative impulses. I have been doing it for around ten years. Before doing the pages I had no creative life to speak of. I had no original creative urges. I wrote a little, but with no real consistency. Morning Pages changed all that. Do morning pages decrease blue moods, the kind that have plagued me much of my life? I wish that they did. They do help me to cope by getting in touch with my feelings. Putting it down on paper takes it out of one's head. So I guess that it does help, if only to become aware of the negative thinking and feelings.
I never created original art until I started writing. I did nothing but draw a little, but no original art. Now I can do a number of things that make me creatively productive. I'd like to think that the morning pages did that for me.

A Positive Atitude

The hardest thing about creating in isolation is the fear that you don't know what you are doing and that your work is no good. You never know. You just have to pull something up from inside of you and say "I believe in myself and my work is worthwhile." Some days are very difficult. Everywhere you look there are successful, talented artists. The internet is loaded with artists who have significant talent. Artists who have spent years in school and who are ahead of you. It can be very easy to get down on yourself if you are not careful. Yes, there are people who believe in you, but when you are alone the little voices get inside your head and tell you what a fraud you are. And it requires action on your part if you are not to sink under the wave of self-loathing that these voices generate. I have found that just getting started on something can help. Even if it is just cleaning up your workspace. I discovered this trick long ago. When I was just dreaming about art as a possible career I used to just buy supplies. I did not know how to use them, I knew no artists and examples of good art were not readily available. I grew up in the inner-city and poverty was something I was very familiar with. People did not become artists and I had no knowledge of what good art was. My first exposure to art was in comics. But this was not fine art. It would be a long time before I would learn about the beauty of painting.

Downtime

I have had asthma the last three or four days and I've been laying low. I feel miserable, I hate being sick. I haven't been creating, I am just trying to get well. I have not been able to do much with the blog either, I have been reading about various ways to attract notice to my artwork but so far I haven't done much except join Facebook. I guess Myspace is next.

Work in Progress

A new work is taking shape. I keep reminding myself, it is progress, not perfection. I want to be able to do great work, but I am only able to do what I do. When I was in art school my drawing skills were quite good, however that was a long time ago. As someone who spends a large amount of time alone I am not sure what my best work is anymore. So I do the best I can. One of my favorite writers is SARK, she is very honest about her skills and abilities. She is able to do great artwork and writing because she believes in herself. I am not the greatest draftsman, but I know what little talent I have comes from God. So who am I to judge? It is a balancing act. Some days I believe that, some days I struggle.

Facebook

I joined Facebook a couple of days ago in order to get to know more people. I found that some of my high school classmates were at the site as well. One individual was a girl I knew from junior high school. It's funny, I am not sure that my blog is of interest to others, so I'm not sure how invested I am in spreading the news that it is here. I have been drawing the last few days but I am unsure that it is going anywhere. I am just doing sketches, and I don't know that these will turn into anything else. I have no idea where I am going with this, there is just not much I am interested in at the moment. The Facebook site is great for meeting new people and it takes me away from this blog. I'm not sure how I feel about this. The more time I spend meeting others, the less time I have to work. One thing about being consumed with artwork is that there is little time for others. I just read a quote recently that said: It takes teamwork to make a dream work. And I think this is true. I spend way too much time alone and I have no close friends anymore. Being consumed with art and family takes all of my time. I am not sure that I am ever going to make anything of this blog, it is just not going anywhere. What do I do with it? How do I make others aware of it? A question I ask myself a lot is this worth the time I am putting into it? And a more honest question might be is my art good enough to justify the time I put into it? Could I be doing something better with my time? When I was in art school I left after two semesters because it was clear that there were those who were much better than me. It took me a long time to get over that. My grades were exceptional but I felt no joy in what I was doing, I saw no future in being second best. Now I create because I enjoy it.

Check in

I have been running a lot this week, I haven't had the energy to do much inside. I did set down and drew a little, but there was nothing that I felt good about. I just don't feel as if I am making any headway. I was at the library this morning and one of the librarians who is familiar with my work asked where I get my inspiration from. I told her that it is mostly books. After I left I had some time to reflect on this. I think that almost all my work comes from books in the form of quotes. Sometimes I go to the local Target and look at greeting cards. The different things I see sometimes inspire me to try different things. I have been trying to get my work into various card companies for the last couple years. So far, no luck. But I have not given up. I wonder if I did this as a job what would happen. Would I starve to death?

I have been disabled for eleven years now. I was the victim of a random act of violence that landed me in intensive care and put me in the hospital for a month or so. Art has kept me from going off the deep end at times. Sometimes I think what a waste my life is when I am down on myself. I can get really depressed. Sometimes I need to remind myself that it is a one day at a time thing. I had an appointment with my eye doctor today and he asked me why I was on disability. I just said it was my health and let it go at that. I felt like I was being judged. One might wonder what this has to do with anything. And I am not sure. Perhaps the thing that put me in the hospital keeps me from really trying anything new. Keeps me from taking risks. And I think there is some truth to this.

Atomic Warehouse

I went to the Art of the State on the 19th. My daughter and grandson went with me. We had a good time, though when my grandson was asked what work he enjoyed the best, he replied "None." It seems the things I enjoy are not necessarily the things he enjoys. My daughter took me to a store after the show called the Atomic Warehouse. It was full of things from the fifties, sixties and seventies. All sorts of neat things like fashion from the seventies, old records, and old furniture. I found a sterling silver pen nib holder which I thought was so neat. I do a lot of pen and ink work so I decided it would help me creatively-a nice rationalization. Still, it was a neat thing that was inexpensive and it was very well balanced. The other holders I have are made of plastic and wood. I have this idea that if I have good equipment I will do good work. When I was younger I read an article that said if you are going to be a professional that you should buy professional products. This made sense to me and I have always followed this advice. I know that it doesn't follow that if you use professional materials that you will do professional work, but it doesn't hurt to use the best materials that are available. Colors are brighter, paper will hold up to erasing, pens will last for years and years. I replace parts on my Rapidograph pen regularly, but the pen itself has been with me for years. I hate to think of replacing it. I use Winsor & Newton watercolors almost exclusively. The paper that I enjoy using the most is handmade in France.

Drawings

I am having a tough time posting new works on my blog, things keep getting screwed up. I spent the last week or so working on drawings, just for a change of pace. Ilove to draw but I am not necessarily that good at it. Still, I have always tried to get better at it.

Hebrew Proverb

A new work finished on September 4th. The lettering is a little better than previous few pieces, but still the flaws are noticeable. I sometimes wonder if I am heading in the wrong direction. I chose the quote for obvious reasons, I want to get better at lettering. Sometimes I pick up little framed calligraphy pieces at a local thrift store. The writing is flawless on these little pieces and I wonder how the artist developed such good writing . I am left-handed and traditional calligraphy is generally geared to the right-hander. So I am trying to develop something that is my own style. I just don't have the patience to do traditional lettering. To some this may sound like a cop-out but I just haven't had much luck with trying to learn left-handed calligraphy. I met an artist who was great at it at a local festival and asked her if she gave lessons. She said she doesn't teach lefties. So I have been teaching myself .

Rejection

I was a little hesitant to post my entry on September 1st, it was embarrassing to admit that I experienced a real letdown with my art and myself as the creator. I had to think about what rejection means to me. And I thought about the greeting card ideas I have submitted that were turned down by card companies. I really had a tough time with these rejections. So much so that it took a long time to submit more ideas. I have been reading a book about dealing with frustrations and in the book it said that next to physical injury and major loss of resources, rejection is the toughest thing that we have to deal with as individuals. That sounded hard to believe, but anyone that has gone through adolescence can admit that there may be a grain of truth to this. It made me feel better to realize that I am not alone when it comes to rejection.

A Thick Skin

Do you ever face an emotional issue and find that you are lousy at dealing with it? I had that happen with my art this week and I had a meltdown. I was hoping to see someone and be recognized for my presence as the "artist" Instead I was totally ignored, my presence was not even acknowledged. I was really offended that I wasn't even noticed. I am old enough to have developed a thick skin when it comes to rejection, so why did this hurt so much? I have been selling my work for quite a while and figured that I had faced all the obstacles an artist faces early in his art experience. But I was wrong. I was so upset that I questioned why I was doing art.Why do I create? I know that my work is still amateurish and probably will never be collected.I like to draw. I like to paint. I like the "idea" of being an artist. But I never thought that being rejected would hurt. I guess I was wrong. I do the blog thing because I would like to write more about a subject that I truly love. Art is incredible. And perhaps that is why I do it. But I think that there is a part of me that will never get used to rejection of me and my work. And perhaps I need to develop a thicker skin towards those who don't really care about me and my art.

Goethe Complete

Goethe is finished. I noticed some problems with the letters flow, I want to do more to get it just right. I always notice the errors when I am about done, the scanner picks up every imperfection. All that I can do is tear it down and start again. My scanner decided to lose a part on the hinge assembly and I ended up feeling very frustrated with this final image.

Goethe

This is one of my favorite quotes. One of these days I will try to learn calligraphy, I would like to learn how to finish an image with the perfection seen in classic calligraphy. One of the artists I admire is SARK. She isn't afraid to show the world that her work is not perfect. There is an artist named Paul Hogarth, he passed away a few years ago; He too was not afraid to do work that was not perfect. It took me a long time to realize perfection is overrated. It is one thing to say that, but it is really hard to believe it. Hogarth seemed to find some pleasure in not being the greatest draftsman. It does take courage to show your work when you know it is not the best. All that you can do is try to improve. And with time to get better.

Trust the Process

I look at the various websites out there and admire the skill of the artists who create a work of art. I am fifty-four years old and I have been drawing all my life. But I know that I have long way to go to be in the same league as a professional artist. Terry Miller, the artist who creates the website "Pencil Shavings" is an example. How does he create such incredible drawings? Recently I have had the opportunity to do some pencil drawings of shells. I was able to see what he does, and I had a lot of fun doing them. But my drawing skills are still in need of work. I would post some but they went to the shop and soon sold. I was quite surprised that I appear to have a following of my own.
The art show Artfest is coming in nine days. I have finished three pieces for sale. I am afraid that I am not prepared for the show. Still, I know that I can create at least a couple more before the deadline. I was hoping for eight new pieces. I will have to settle for five.
I never thought I would have my own blog. Google really made it easy to create this site. I am grateful. I have tried to set up a website before but my skills are not there yet. I am still a work in progress. Still, it is so neat to see a drawing appear on the computer and feel pleased to have done it. That is mine. At some point I want to be able to maybe have a booth at a show like Artfest. I am still not there. I don't create enough work for sale. A year's work might only be forty pieces. And I am not sure that my work is professional enough. As I said, I'm a work in progress. I will trust that with time and hard work maybe I will get there eventually.

Enjoying the Day

I have been working on another piece. I started it yesterday by going through my old sketchbooks looking for ideas. The work is representive of my style, the stuff I do most often. I don't know if it will be a framed piece, it well may turn out to be a greeting card. I have been submitting ideas for greeting cards to various companies but have had no luck. The shop where I submit my work has been after me to do some greeting cards but so far I have not sent any in. I have tried a couple of ways to reproduce the work but the results have been unsatisfactory. The work in process looks like it would make a greeting card, so I may try again.
The weather has been wonderful the last few days. I have been getting my dogs out more to take advantage of it, they love to smell things and try to catch the squirrels. My one dog is a hound and she proves it every day. She always has her nose in the air and she loves to quietly sneak up on squirrels. It is too bad that I did not have her as a puppy because she just has a wonderful spirit and loves life. Sometimes I regret that I live in an apartment because she loves the outdoors and I don't spend enough time with her outside. My hound dog's name is Paloma. When I lived in the inner-city I had a lot of time to observe the pigeons and their grace in the air. When I got Paloma I decided to name her after the pigeons. Paloma means dove or pigeon in Spanish. She is every bit as graceful as a dove I think.

Complete

I finished Rejoice and I am pretty satisfied with the results. The dark blue mat complemented the picture nicely. I probably spent 6 hours on the work. The painting required the most time. I have been drawing this work in different forms for quite some time. I always enjoy the final product.

Rejoice in the Day II

I spent the morning on this latest work. It is a painstaking process that requires a lot of concentration. Painting is my favorite part, though I like cutting the mat and framing.

Work in Progress

Rejoice in the Day is a small image, just three by five inches.

Work in Progress

I spent a good amount of time in the studio today. I worked on the quote from the Qua'ran about loaves of bread and hyacinths. Probably five hours were spent on it. Sometimes I can be a harsh critic. I just did not like the finished product. There are three weeks left to complete seven works. There is a tendency to rush and the results are disappointing. I found out today that three of my works were purchased at the gallery where I sell my work. This is great news. I can't help but be grateful for sales in this economy. I am selling more work now than I've ever sold in the past.
I am reading "Van Gogh Blues" by Eric Maisel. The book focuses on healing depression, something I have struggled with for years. The book talks about finding meaning in ones life as a way to heal from depression. I am not sure that I agree with everything in the book, but it makes sense. My work is devoted to lifting people's spirits. I find meaning in making people smile. But most of the time I don't feel better, even when I hear that someone purchased my work. When I got my check from the gallery today I was really happy. But when I realized that I would have to complete many new works for sale I got depressed. My happiness was short-lived. There is a passage from the Bible sitting on my desk. It is about being thankful. This is God's will for us in Jesus. This is difficult. Finding the good in every situation is not easy. I sometimes take things too seriously. I can see the downside of selling more work than I have ever sold in the past. God tells us to be thankful. Be grateful for the things that are occurring in my life

Slow & Steady

My old dog got sick two days ago and had to be taken to the vet. She was okay, just an inflammation, for which the vet prescribed meds. Needless to say, between vet trips and various errands, nothing got done. The Goethe quote is waiting for me. I want to do something other than usual but I have a deadline. I have twenty-four days to finish seven works. I think the reason I am dissatisfied with recent work is the timetable thing. I have to finish pieces too quickly and quality suffers. Recently I did several graphite and watercolor works and they sold almost immediately. I was surprised, I really wasn't expecting them to sell, I just needed to take some works into the shop where my works are displayed.
Tomorrow is another day. It is time to ruminate on the next piece and get some rest.

Complete

The finished work. The clarity on the scanned image needs work. This is not quite up to par. This drawing is not as good as I'd like, I may continue to work on another version. What I hoped to accomplish I did. I wanted to post work and it worked.

Let us be Thankful

This is a work just finished today. I just have to frame it. I find quotes everywhere and this one spoke to me. There is a lot to say for being grateful, and this one says it better than most. I have a problem at times with seeing the silver lining and this reminds me there is a lot to be grateful for.

No Title

This is my first attempt to add visual elements. This was an old drawing done two years or so ago. I tried to insert a newer work but could not find the image. I started to post a work last night, but when I blew the image up everything disappeared. There is a lot that I have never done before so some patience is required. My work is somewhat simple and speaks for itself. I am not a great draftsman so visual elements are kept at a minimum. I try to make my work of archival quality, but this is a work in progress. I worked in a frame shop for a little while and learned the basics. I use Arches W/C paper, Winsor and Newton paints and a Rapidograph pen. Schooling was a local art school for six months and a local college in which I earned a two year degree. This may be boring for some, I hope not, there is just an inclination to document what has become a very pleasant pastime. Most of my work is sold at a local shop that specializes in artwork of various kinds. Some are craftsman and some are artists.

Deadline

There is an art show at the end of August, it has been going on for quite some time and is always a big event. Usually I don't do anything with it because I just don't create a large enough body of work during the year. This year there is going to be an experiment to open some shops near the show. The shop where I sell my work is one of those to be open. Most of my recent work has sold so I have to create some new work between now and the end of August. That is quite an order. I have just one idea so far, but it is a start. Once I finish one piece, the momentum builds. Usually I find other ideas in quick succession and I can knock out 3-4 ideas in a week. My work is not overly complex and fortunately I work small. Five by seven inches is usually the size of a completed work. I found out a few years ago that if the work is small a lot of things can be solved. And perhaps most importantly, a small size pretty much guarantees the work will be completed. Costs are kept down and compositional issues are more easily solved. It is definitely a guarantee that work will be met with more enthusiasm if it can be completed in one to two days. I happened to open an old sketchbook today and found my first idea. It is a quote by Goethe. When I saw that the composition was nearly complete, I knew I had my first idea. We will see where it goes from here.

New Work

I was at the shop where I take my work yesterday. I found out I sold a work, a nice feeling. There has been too much emphasis on getting work out and copies of work haven't been made. This is the wrong decision on my part. Several works have sold over the last few months and I haven't made copies. New directions demand documentation and it hasn't been done. Last month I created a number of graphite and watercolor pieces. They sold quickly and this surprised me. The main reason the work was done was an experiment. I have been following the work of another artist and I wanted to play around with pencils to see what happened. The result was better than I expected.
There is a show coming up at the end of August and I need to get some new work together. The question then becomes what should I do? Should the direction be graphite and watercolor or pen and ink and watercolor?

new work

I took some time this week to go down to the Studio to drop off some new work. The Studio is where I show my work. I took four works down. Two were 8x10 inches, two were 5x7 inches. The works were watercolor and pen and ink. Earlier this year I did some graphite and watercolor pieces. These received a very good reception. I am still trying to figure out how to post my work. Do I scan it in? I just recently bought a digital camera, but I still haven't had it out of the box. I know that I can use the camera to post work, but I am unsure exactly how this works.
I almost deleted my blog entries a few days ago, who wants to read this crap? But I decided to keep posting-for whatever reason. It is kind of interesting to see this develop, I am still unsure where it is going.

Learning curve

I am not sure where I am going with this blog thing, as I said, it is an experiment. I am older and I did not learn about all this new technology until recently. I imagine that there are many people that share this viewpoint. I imagine it is like learning a new language. I want to learn as much as I can, but I'm afraid of a mistake. I want to post my works of art, but I am unsure as how to do it. I sell my work close to home but want to try other things. I want to show the world my work. Don't get me wrong, my aim to get my work out is not all about money, it is about trying new things out. Learning more about new technology. This blog is a way to try out new things.

I hope to begin creating a blog to share my art online. I don't have a lot of experience, so this is an experiment. I work in pen and ink and watercolor. Most of my works are inspirational quotes. I attended art school in the eighties, but did not get a degree. My favorite artists are mostly those who work in pen and ink. Gahan Wilson, David Levine, R.O. Blechman, Edward Koren, Shel Silverstein. Illustrators like Trina Schart Hyman, Pinkney, Quentin Blake, and James Stevenson are a few of my favorites.