Tao Te Ching by Lao Tsu

I have been reading this book after finding one of a similar nature at a used book store. One thing I have been doing for a while is chasing a dream. A dream of art, finding a place for it in my life. I draw and paint and spend a lot of downtime thinking about doing something with it. I have been doing this for almost thirty years to little avail. The Tao says that desire leads us down a painful path. By focusing on something and desiring success we set ourselves up for a lot of heartache. And I can attest to this. It can be a very frustrating and painful road. Not always, I love to paint and draw, but when I try to make more of this, it becomes a recipe for painful unmet expectations. I chase after a dream that has for a long time just has not come true. Why does it seem as if some people are able to make their dreams come true while others just can't seem to make it happen? I wish that I could just accept disability as part of my reality and live with it. There seems to be a thing that is ingrained in each one of us to be a productive individual. I think that it is hardwired into us. When we don't have this productivity it becomes a recipe for depression. Something that can be hard to live with.
When we stop chasing dreams we can breathe a little sigh of relief and open ourselves up to positive emotions. I guess it is kind of like the man who spends his entire life chasing after success and never lets up. A type A personality. That is me. And I have hypertension and heart problems to show for it. It never occurred to me 'til now that I might be bringing this on myself. I didn't realize 'til just this moment that the Tao might be right. Sometimes our dreams can make us sick. And letting go of them might be the road to recovery.